What does long-term recovery look like? Perhaps this story can help provide a peek.

I lead several recovery groups during the week. This past week, one of my group members, whom we’ll call John, was talking about feeling frustrated about a personal situation. John was frustrated because of unmet expectations with a medical device he had recently begun using. The device would help him manage a long-standing sensory issue. Leading up to getting the device, he went through a host of emotions, including fear, anxiety, and excitement. The day came last week when the device arrived, he started using it, and it didn’t live up to the expectations he had hoped for. He was down about it. Very sad, angry, and resentful. On one level, it’s apparent why he was feeling these emotions. The device failed to do what he wanted. However, there was a deeper reason for these feelings. He realized that he was hoping the device would help him feel “normal.” The device would help him fit in with friends and work colleagues and, in some ways, make up for the struggles he felt growing up with these sensory issues. There was hope for feeling better about himself, which was instantly dashed.

When people think about recovery, the emphasis is almost entirely on ending the addictive behaviors or ending addictive chemical usage. However, that is just the beginning of the journey. Recovery is about personal change. Recovery requires one to change the approach to processing emotions and thoughts that would lead to addictive behaviors. Recovery demands exploring the driving forces behind difficult emotional states. The addictive mindset creates an environment where emotions are buried, and the addiction serves to numb negative experiences due to those emotions. The recovery mindset allows one to feel the negativity and let it go in a healthy way.

Returning to the group conversation, we discussed the underlying thoughts that drove his frustration, sadness, and resentment, and helped John explore how his past played into the hopelessness he felt last week. At the end of the conversation, John realized how far he had come in recovery. Seven years ago, he would have been drinking and popping Xanax to dull his feelings, never giving a thought to the underlying reasons for how he felt. Today, not only did John courageously explore those reasons, but he was also able to process the thoughts and let go of the feelings.

That is long-term recovery in action. 

Kenneth Markowitz MD, IMAC